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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22642231">be as you've always been</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingprince/pseuds/darlingprince'>darlingprince</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman &amp; Terry Pratchett</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(bathtub), Alternate Universe - Human, Aziraphale Has a Vulva (Good Omens), Bottom Aziraphale (Good Omens), Child Neglect, Chubby Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Penis (Good Omens), Crowley Has a Pet Snake (Good Omens), Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Experienced Crowley (Good Omens), F/M, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), First Kiss, First Time, Gabriel Not Being An Asshole (Good Omens), Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, Male Crowley (Good Omens), Masturbation, Masturbation in Shower, Past Abuse, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Protective Gabriel, Smitten Crowley (Good Omens), Snowed In, Top Crowley (Good Omens), Virgin Aziraphale (Good Omens), aziraphale has a bunny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 12:00:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,552</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22642231</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingprince/pseuds/darlingprince</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>be as you've always been<br/>and lover, be good to me</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Davina (Rab C Nesbitt)/Mrs Robinson (There's Something About Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>be as you've always been</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ive been on a female aziraphale and male crowley high as of recent but theres not nearly enough content of it so. uh.<br/>be the change you want to see in the world i guess<br/>this is the most heterosexual thing u get out of me.</p><p>i had the realization that idk if south downs is a town or just the cottage so imma just make it the cottage/street name. and tadfield is a sea town cause fuck it</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>     Azira Fell, age 26, had made a name for herself, or well, a lack of name. She had remained invisible, blending into crowds, hiding her face in books, whatever it took to keep her from being noticed- she did just that.</p><p>She never wanted a bad reputation, she wasn't looking for people staying out of her way- she was looking for peace. For a good reason, too.</p><p>When Elizabeth Fell had brought her little girl into her world, she promptly exited it herself. Now, while Azira had been no more than an hour old when her mother passed away, with her in her arms, she felt the repercussions of this throughout her life.</p><p>Whether it be snide remarks from her father, who abandoned her at an All-Girl's Catholic school when she was caught kissing a girl and was forced to come out as bisexual at 14, to every mention of a mother she heard had heads turning towards her.</p><p>She didn't particularly care for it.</p><p>She felt utterly and truly alone. She had few friends throughout her primary school years and secondary school year. Not for lack of trying, she did try in primary school, but her friendliness fell on deaf ears.</p><p>Her father as neglectful most of the time, except when he decided to harp on her- when he called her too fat, too quiet, not obedient enough, too much like her mother, not enough like her mother- she was too much, and at the same time, she was never enough.</p><p>When Azira was 5, her father remarried to a businesswoman, Francine. She was constantly on conference calls and at work, though, she was certainly not unkind to Azira, but she never saw Azira as her daughter. It was mutual.</p><p>The only family that truly felt like family was her step-brother, Gabriel. Gabriel was 5 years her senior, and twice her size. The first month of him was disastrous, they were forced to share rooms and Azira quickly discovered that his parent's divorce was not pretty.</p><p>He missed his dad and constantly fought with Azira's. He basically pretended Azira was a ghost, that she was merely a temporary thing- soon to leave, not worth paying attention.</p><p>Until he noticed when dinner came, whatever Azira put on her plate, her dad would pick up and throw half of it away. Suddenly, 10 year old Gabriel became a detective. He watched them for the next week or so before coming to a conclusion and deciding to take action.</p><p>One fateful Friday night, Gabriel walked into their room with a small plastic bag.</p><p>He pulled out a muffin and <em>Stellaluna</em>. Azira looked up from where she was sitting and her eyes twinkled.</p><p>"I saw you looking at this when we went to the store..." He handed them to her. "Thought you might like it." Suddenly, her mouth gaped as she jumped on him, hugging him.</p><p>She squealed and he gathered her in his arms before she fell off her bed.</p><p>"What are you two doing in there?!" Her father yelled.</p><p>"Nothing, Benjamin!" He called back, putting a finger over his lips and smirking. She giggled and nodded. Suffice to say, this became somewhat of a tradition for them.</p><hr/><p>     When Azira was 15 years old and was allowed to go home for Christmas break, to her father's displeasure, she found a box in the attic. It had been her mother's belongings, apparently and with this, she was given closure as well as an opportunity. </p><p>
  <em>My dearest daughter,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am aware of the fact I am too weak to carry you. Either I shall lose you or I should pass away instead. My doctor gave me these options, I chose you. I will always choose you, you aren't not even born and you are a blessing to me. I always dreamed of having a little girl and here you are, you are the brightest star in my sky.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>My only hope is that you do not feel guilty, you are not at fault. I chose you and, even in death, I would choose you again and again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I have been the utmost coward and I have not told your father. I have kept it to myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I...cannot say why. Perhaps it's our fleeting love or his absence but I cannot say, as I even confuse myself.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Darling, I cannot say how he will be. I can only hope he is good to you and treats how he treated me once. If not, you deserve better. You deserve the world and more. I trust him to take care of you, and if my judgment is misguided, I sincerely apologize.</em>
</p><p>The pages went on like this, telling more backstory but suddenly, it changed. A shakey note, as if it had been added on afterward.</p><p>
  <em>777 South Downs Lane, Tadfield, United Kingdom.</em>
</p><p>Azira flipped back through the pages.</p><p>
  <em>...me, my siblings, and the cousin would all stay at the South Downs cottage every weekend until nana died, then it was only for holidays and family gatherings. As of recent, though, it had been abandoned. I was given the lease but I am unsure of what to do with it.</em>
</p><p>She grabbed the address as well as the lease paper and shoved it in her skirt pocket, before carrying the box into her room and stuffing it in her luggage.</p><p>And for once, when her father said, <em>"Your mother was never this fat."</em> She did not feel bad about herself, all she thought was, <em>she was sick. She was sick and you liked that.</em></p><hr/><p>     From that moment on, Azira worked every day. She became steadily aware of the negative attention she was receiving from the nuns due to her multitude of jobs, but she just kept working.</p><p><em>I'll be gone soon</em>. She thought when she heard the call to wake-up ring.</p><p><em>I won't see anyone here again</em>. She thought as worked in her theology class.</p><p><em>No one will know me.</em> She thought as she gathered her things out of maths class.</p><p><em>I'll be free</em>. She thought as she washed down the restaurant's tables.</p><p><em>I'll be invisible.</em> She thought as she stirred cream soup at the weekly church charity cookout.</p><p><em>I'll find my home.</em> She thought as she flicked off her flashlight, hours after the call for all the girls to go to sleep rang.</p><p>She thought and she thought and she thought. She kept her mouth shut, to the point it was debatable she even had a voice.</p><p>Until her graduation day, when Gabriel was the only one who showed up. He lifted her off the ground and nearly squealed himself.</p><p>That week, the second to last night he had before he had to go back to University, they checked out of his hotel and loaded all Azira's luggage into his mini RV and drove to Tadfield. From the day Azira turned 18, she had been working with the cottage's property, so now, all the technical stuff was already out of the way.</p><p>"You gonna be okay?" Gabriel said, hesitating to leave the cottage.</p><p>"I always am, Gabriel." She smiled and hugged him, they gave their goodbyes before he left. She waved as she closed the door behind him. Luckily, thanks to him, most of the packing was done. "Time to get to work."</p><hr/><p>     Anthony J. Crowley, age 30, had made a name for himself- yes, this time, an <em>actual</em> name. He was a wonderful businessman, an extremely talented salesman, and a playboy. Not in the <em>I-break-women's-hearts</em> way, in the<em> I-like-sex-no-strings-attached</em> way. He was pretty good at it, too.</p><p>Anthony J. Crowley, age 30, was also terribly tired. Tired of his fast-paced life and in fact, he <em>was</em> getting sick of meaningless sex. So one day, he asked if he could work from home. Surprisingly, Beelzebub said sure.</p><p>A month later, from the suggestion Anathema gave him, Crowley moved to Tadfield. He moved into a nice, two-story, single-person townhouse that was alongside the sea.</p><p>He stayed inside mostly, spare for his visits to Anathema and Newt along with his rare bar trips, he finally felt a little bit more energetic- like he could indulge again.</p><p>He had been sitting at the bar, talking to this person for about an hour, they had clicked instantly and that person seemed just a few minutes away from inviting him back. Everything had been going swimming, he had condoms in his back pocket and lube. They were <em>this</em> close to snogging before-</p><p>A glimmer out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. He stopped and stared before the other person shrugged and walked off. He jumped up and walked outside the bar doors, where a restaurant lay. <em>There it is again!</em> He sped walk to the exit of the building and finally saw who he had been distracted by.</p><p>"Oh- um, sorry, sir?" The lady looked up at him. He felt flustered and stammered for a second,<em> I don't fluster and I certainly don't stammer.</em> "Sorry, I didn't catch that." A polite smile graced her face.</p><p>"Sorry, uh. You're-" He coughed, looking at her white cardigan. "I guess your cardigan caught my attention, it's really white. Looks nice." Suddenly, she looked at her cardigan and giggled.</p><p>"Oh, thank you!" She began walking away before he impulsively called for her again.</p><p>"Wait, uh-" He stuck a hand in his pocket and tried to suavely come over to her. "Didn't catch your name there." She just looked surprised and turned back.</p><p>"Azira. How about you, dear?" He felt bubbles in his chest when she used the endearment.</p><p>"Crowley!" He blurted out, all of his confidence slowly draining away. "Where you going?" She raised an eyebrow at him.</p><p>"Home...?" She held herself tighter and narrowed her eyes.</p><p>"Ah, shit, didn't mean for that to sound creepy. I promise I was just wondering." She seemed to ease a little bit.</p><p>"Oh, well. I apologize." He shook his head.</p><p>"No need, I'm a stranger, I understand." Suddenly, his watch started beeping. Apparently, he had conveniently forgotten about meeting up with Anathema. <em>Probably for the better I didn't hook up.</em> "Ah, shit, I gotta go meet up with Anathema. Have a nice night, ma'am." He sped walk away as Azira waved back.</p><p>"Nice night to you too." She murmured before shaking her head and rushing back to the cottage.</p><hr/><p>     "So, you saw a pretty lady, what's the big deal?" Anathema sipped her tea.</p><p>"It's just-" He groaned. "She's not just a pretty lady. She's like, gorgeous. I met her once and I can't get her out of my head- fuck, am I losing it?" Anathema laughed.</p><p>"You know, now that you mention her, she doesn't seem kinda familiar. It's like, I've seen her but she's blurry." Newt said, finishing his muffin.</p><p>"Yeah, that's honestly probably the best way to describe it." Anathema hummed. "...why didn't you ask for her number?"</p><p>"Oh, yes, the guy who randomly stopped you and is being weird suddenly asks for your number! I'm sure you would give it up, yes?" Crowley's sarcastic voice filled up the room.</p><p>"Ok, you got a point. Why didn't you give her your number? Gives her the authority to never text it if she wanted to."</p><p>"Still, it would be weird!" Anathema shook her head.</p><p>"I'm sure you'll find her again, loverboy."</p><hr/><p>     Crowley did not find Azira again. Azira found him.</p><p>He had been talking to-yelling at- his plants one day and suddenly he heard soft laughter from the other side of the fence, where a bench stood for some ungodly reason.</p><p>"Just because the bench is next to my fence, doesn't mean you got the right to laugh at me." He looked up as a round, soft face peaked up from behind the fence.</p><p>"Sorry, Crowley."</p><p>"Azira?" He smiled, walking away from his plants and patted his dirty hands on his apron.</p><p>"The one and only. Quite literally may I add, there are no others in the UK." Her chin hit the fence and she winced.</p><p>"You wanna come in?" He stepped to the fence gate and unlocked it. She nodded and hopped off the bench.</p><p>"Beautiful garden you have here!" She smiled and looked at the plants. He scratched the back of his head before nervously laughing.</p><p>"Ah, thanks." His brain was impulsively flicking through his options, which were:<em> Invite her in your house, call her beautiful, kiss her, or offer a flower to her.</em> "Want one of my lilacs?" Her eyes lit up and he noticed she, unconsciously, flapped her hands.</p><p>"May I?" He bent over to pick one out of a batch of them and hand it to her.</p><p>"Only the prettiest flowers for the prettiest lady." He said, while <em>YOU DUMBASS</em> screamed in his head.</p><p>"Oh, my- well..." She grabbed it and flustered. "Thank you, you're very handsome yourself."</p><p>"I should hope so, as you can, I do hate getting my hands dirty." He said, holding up his dirty hands as she laughed. Their conversation continued before he noticed her twiddling her thumbs. "What's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing, I just! Oh, I sure hope I do the right thing."</p><p>"You're an angel, I don't think you can do the wrong thing." <em>STOP! STOP! STOOOP!</em></p><p>"Well, I was just wondering. Perhaps...we could talk some more?" Her face heated up.</p><p>"Are you asking for my number, angel?" Both of them thought, simultaneously, <em>angel?</em></p><p>"I suppose I am. What do you suppose your answer might be?"</p><p>"I am inclined to say...yes, I believe." <em>YES. YES. YESSSSSS.</em></p><p>"It would be nice to be friends with you, you are an alright fellow." She winked while he snorted. He grabbed her phone and put it in his number before handing it back to her. "We'll be speaking?" She said as she neared the gate."</p><p>"Course we will, angel."</p><hr/><p>    Azira rushed back to her cottage and breathed in, slightly pumping her fist in the air. She walked up the stairs and into her room, where her little white lop-eared bunny was sleeping on his tiny bed.</p><p>"Well, hello there, Francis!" Francis's nose twitched before promptly going back to sleep. She laid out some food for him when he woke up, though, she did recently have to put him on a diet- so she made sure his meal was proportioned correctly.</p><p>She decided to do some house chores, mainly sweeping and dusting her antique and vintage collections as well as her bookshelves. She checked on Francis once more, who had finally woken up and was playing with a stuffed toy, before getting into her bathtub.</p><p>She decided she may as well treat herself tonight, so she let herself soak as classical music played. She gently scrubbed her soft and sensitive skin, though her fingertips were rougher due to years of papercuts.</p><p>She massaged the shampoo into her hair, hands going through her shoulder-length hair to press against the back of her head. She groaned in pleasure and, once thoroughly cleaned, she rinsed herself off. After some more body washing, she allowed herself just to relax and think of her day.</p><p>While mostly mundane, she could not forget her meeting with that man again. Crowley. Ah, while not a common name, it was certainly one she was all too happy to become commonplace in her life.</p><p>He had noticed her- it felt weird, usually, she tried to not be noticed but something about this man...it allured her. It captivated her until she realized perhaps she should become closer.</p><p>She couldn't get the little bit of amber eye that peaked out from under his sunglasses out of her head, the way his flaming hair shined in the sun, his lithe yet slightly muscular body. She couldn't get it out of her head until her hand went between her legs and-</p><p>
  <em>oh.</em>
</p><p>She pressed gently into her sex, spreading her thighs which has been rubbing one another to give some stimulation, she rubbed her clit- she eventually, finally, picked up the pace as soft gasps exited her mouth.</p><p>She flicked her nipples in hopes that they might give relief to her arousal, which made her gasp out- her thighs clamped close, now making her finger press more and they began to rub again as her other hand played with her nipples.</p><p>Once that shock dulled, she eased her legs open and let her finger slip down between the folds of her labia. They slipped even further, reaching her opening, and she pressed one in.</p><p>She hissed, not used to the feeling as it had been some time, and waited for the burn to cease- it finally did and she continued more on. Her other hand was still rubbing her nipples, though, at that moment, she was currently pinching her left nipple and rubbing it.</p><p>Her fingers curled and she gasped- it had been even longer since she found <em>that</em> spot. She touched it again and found herself nearly screaming, quieted by biting down on her bottom lip.</p><p>Finally, she felt herself tighten and climax. Her cunt pulsated as she wiped down her still wet face and her slightly cum-covered hands with a cloth. She stepped out of the bath and let it all go down the drain.</p><p>After washing her hands, just to be safe, and brushing her hair and teeth. She decided to step into her pajamas, a nice pair of tartan night shorts and a white cut-off sweater.</p><p>She grabbed her Emily Dickinson's poem collection and sat down in her queen-sized alcove bed. Francis, who had been playing, noticed her presence and jumped into the bed with her.</p><p>"No, no, dear boy! Mama sleeps up here, you have your own bed." He ignored her protest and placed himself beside her. "Okay, baby. Just this one time." She bent over to kiss him on the top of his head and turned on her reading lamp, slowly letting her eyes grow tired and begin to shut on their own.</p><p>At around 11 at night, she found herself asleep, Dickinson put to the side, and bunny on her lap.</p><hr/><p>     Crowley groaned in bed. God, he was hopeless. He had been compulsively checking his phone, waiting for Azira's text to pop up. He looked up to see serpentine eyes staring at him.</p><p>"Shut up, Ashtoreth."  Ashtoreth blepped at him and continued staring. "I know I'm pathetic, leave me <em>alooone</em>." He wailed, getting up to let her out. She slithered onto him and cuddled against him.</p><p>"That's daddy's girl, how are you doing?" She blepped again and curled around his arm. He, gently, so as not to disturb her, flopped onto his bed and checked his phone again.</p><p>"Ugh, I'm being clingy and she hasn't even texted me. She's probably asleep- I'd be more concerned if she texted me now- it's 3 in the morning!" He looked to his sketchbook and started drawing.</p><p>He began to draw her onyx scales and gentle red underbelly, her yellow serpent eyes that were similar to his ones - though, his were amber. It had been a nice destresser. Next thing he knew, he was drawing platinum curls and pale blue eyes.</p><p>"Fuck!"</p><hr/><p>     "Then he barged in and asked how many nipples I have- which...was just...weird." Newt squirmed in his seat.</p><p>"That Shadwell guy is so fucking weird." Anathema shook her head. She was about to go on, sharing her own Shadwell experiences before Crowley shrieked. He had arrived at 7 to help with some cleaning before her mother visited and had been silent the entire time. "What the hell?" She muttered, looking at him.</p><p>"Oh, uh, sorry." He coughed to ease the tension and stared at his phone. "Got surprised."</p><p>"What did you see, a dead body?"</p><p>He shrugged nonchalantly, at least, he tried to, and put on his sunglasses. "No...Azira texted me." He looked down, already knowing what was about to happen next.</p><p>"Oh my god- you're such a loser." Anathema snickered as Newt cackled. Crowley glared and went back to texting his response back.</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Azira (9:32 AM)</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Hello! I apologize for not texting sooner, it slipped my mind last night, how have you been, dear? :)</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>Crowley (9:35 AM)</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>im good. its fine, prob were busy, right? ;)</em>
</p><p>"FUCK!"</p><p>"What did you do?"</p><p>"I sent a winking face instead of a smiley face."</p><p>"Well, at least you're being honest with her." Crowley threw a pillow at her head.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Crowley (9:36 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>*:)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>sorry lol</em>
</p><p>In her cottage, Azira giggled to herself. She was sat on her sofa, drinking a glass of cocoa in her pajamas.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Azira (9:40 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>What are you doing right about now?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Crowley (9:42 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>helpin anathema clean her house for her mum</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Azira (9:44 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>That was the lady you met with the other day, correct?</em>
</p><p>Azira thought to herself, <em>oh, I've met her before. She's a nice lady, is she his girlfriend?</em> She frowned and kept this to herself.<em> Wait, no! She has a boyfriend, that young man!</em></p><p>
  <strong> <em>Crowley (9:46 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>yeah. her bf is so nervous he doesnt even trust himself to clean properly. what abt u?</em>
</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Azira (9:48 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Oh, dearie! [laughing emoji]</em>
</p><p>She giggled some more and took a sip of cocoa. She sat that down and put Francis on her lap, picking him up from her side.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Azira (9:50 AM)</em> </strong>
</p><p>
  <span class="u"> <em>[Azira, neck down in her white cut-off sweater, with a tartan blanket and Francis on her lap.]</em> </span>
</p><p>
  <em>Spending time with my son, of course.</em>
</p><p>Meanwhile, Anathema was laughing at Crowley.</p><p>"Dude, you're foaming at the mouth."</p><hr/><p>    Months pass as it goes from a gently windy Autumn to a somberly beautiful Winter. With this, Crowley was free from work but also left alone as Anathema and Newt traveled to America.</p><p>Nowadays, he spent large portions of his time with Azira, who had grown to be a close confidant, who he cherished every moment with.</p><p>He had met her dear Francis soon after seeing that picture and had become smitten with the little guy. At first, the bunny was adverse to him, only liking being around Azira.</p><p>"Oh, now, you big baby!" Azira picked him up from where he stood behind her legs.</p><p>"Is he a mama's boy?" Crowley smirked at the rabbit. She giggled and nuzzled his nose.</p><p>"Are you a mama's boy, Francis? Are you?" Her voice went up a pitch as he nuzzled back, she kissed his forehead and set him on the couch. <em>God, I wish that were me</em>. Crowley kept that thought to himself.</p><p>Crowley had also introduced her to Ashtoreth, who fell in love with Azira instantly. The snake climbed onto Azira and wrapped herself around her, though, Azira was almost shaking.</p><p>"She's not venomous, and certainly not a biter. Right, girl?" He scratched the underside of Ashtoreth's head and gently caressed her. Azira felt herself swoon.</p><p>"You're so sweet." She blurted out. Crowley had just stood there, face reddening.</p><p>Ashtoreth also took to Francis immediately. The little rabbit had tried to bounce on the serpent, to assert his dominance.</p><p>"Don't let her hurt my baby!" Azira crouched down, about to scoop up Francis.</p><p>"It'll be fine, angel, he'll be fine." He looked at Ashtoreth, who was glaring at the rabbit. Finally, she laid beside him, cuddling against him. "See?" Azira giggled and grabbed Crowley by the arm, grinning ear-to-ear.</p><p>"Let's just watch them, okay?" She pouted at Crowley, who nodded before she even got through the first word.</p><p>Now, it was snowing. The snow was up to Azira's knees, or, to Crowley, his calves. It got thinner as they got closer to the water, but at Azira's, it was practically impossible to leave it. The wind was blowing constantly these days and Crowley had just gotten to his mother's house.</p><p>Crowley and his mother never had a good relationship, they constantly argued and he was the rebellion child. At 18, he moved away and changed his last name to Crowley. Sadly, no matter how many last name changes he went through, he still couldn't escape the annual Christmas party.</p><p>"Anthony!" Warlock Dowling, son of Thaddeus and Harriet Dowling, as well as the little brother of Crowley.</p><p>"Demon child! How has it been?" Warlock ran through the snow to him and fist-bumped him.</p><p>"It's been good! Better that you're here now-"</p><p>"I see you finally decided to show up." A silky voice rang from the doorway.</p><p>"Davina?" Crowley's eyebrows raised. It had been quite a while since he'd seen his twin sister.</p><p>"Come on in, the festivities are about to begin." She beckoned her brothers to come inside.</p><hr/><p>     "You still working for Morningstar and Co.?" His mother asked, drinking a glass of her favorite, screwdriver.</p><p>"From home now." Crowley shrugged, fidgeting in his seat.</p><p>"<em>Calm down</em>, I don't bite, boy." His mother glared and got up to go pour more vodka in her glass and less orange juice. He sneaked his phone out and began chatting with Azira.</p><p>She sent some pictures of her outfit she decided to wear, just to make herself look nice, even if she wasn't going anywhere.</p><p>She had had her brother over the week prior, as he had to work Christmas week. Gabriel and she had exchanged presents and surprised her with a new baby bunny, who she named Harry.</p><p>"Who's she? She's so adorable!" He heard his sister shriek. He turned off his phone screen and put it in his pocket.</p><p>"What the hell do you think you're doing?" He glared at Davina, who snickered at him.</p><p>"That doesn't answer my question. I was just coming over to see my dear brother." She rolled her eyes.</p><p>"Fine, that's Azira." His face softened at the mention of Azira.</p><p>"Is she single?" He sputtered, staring incredulously at Davina.</p><p>"What-what the fuck? Why do you wanna know?"</p><p>"She's pretty and I'm a simple taken lesbian with too many single friends?" Davina shrugged. "But, by the looks of things, she's already taken." She snickered again at her brother.</p><p>"Wh-What's that supposed to mean?" He feigned innocence as if he hadn't practically had a heart attack at the prospect of Azira dating.</p><p>"...are you kidding me?" She groaned. "Do not pretend you aren't in love with her."</p><p>"Shhh!" He looked around the room, to make sure no one else heard her. He couldn't have any one of these distant family members butting into his life. "Okay, okay, I get!"</p><p>"So, when did you get together?" </p><p>"We haven't." He shrugged. "We're just friends." Davina looked at him sympathetically.</p><p>"Oh, my darling little brother..." She hugged him.</p><p>"<em>Do not</em>." He groaned. His phone suddenly went off, and when he looked at it after shoving Davina away, she had responded to his selfie. He was on the couch still, bored with his head leaning on his hand.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Azira (8:04 PM)</em> </strong>
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  <em>[double heart emoji] [double heart emoji] You look so handsome!!! :D</em>
</p><p>He groaned into his hand. Davina, who was still staring at his phone, asked if she could see it. "Why?" He glared.</p><p>"I'm not sending anything to her, just looking. Please?" She pleaded and he handed it over after texting Azira that he was lending his phone to his sister and to ignore any texts she got in the next few minutes. Ten minutes later, Davina handed back the phone. </p><p>"She's in love with you," Davina said with no hesitation.</p><p>"And I'm an aardvark."</p><p>"Better start eating bugs then. She's smitten with you, dude. She loves everything you do for her. She seems to be an introvert for everyone...except you." A bitter taste washed in Crowley's mouth and he got up to go see Warlock. "Anthony!" He ignored her as she walked behind him.</p><p>"What're you two doing?" Warlock asked, food stuffed in his mouth.</p><p>"Nothing, you?" Warlock motioned to his plate. "Besides that."</p><p>"I've been playing this game a lot. It's about..." Warlock went on as Crowley sat down and Davina beckoned over her girlfriend, Michaela Robinson.</p><hr/><p>    Crowley woke with a headache, right before the crack of dawn.</p><p>"That's what I get for drinking, I guess." He rubbed his temples and grabbed a bottle of pills he, even drunk, set on his dresser for the next morning. He was just glad to be leaving his childhood home.</p><p>His father had been away for the entire weekend and he had been thankful he wouldn't see him, but if he really didn't wanna see him, he'd have to get out of there first thing in the morning.</p><p>Luckily, all he brought was two pairs of regular clothes and one pair of pajamas and other basic stuff, such as his charger, toothbrush, hairbrush, so on, so forth.</p><p>He hurriedly got ready and slide into his tight jeans and grey shirt.</p><p>"I take it you're leaving?" Davina said, also packing up, putting her bags in the car, as she had stayed the entire weekend. Michaela appeared to be half-asleep and still in her pajamas, was clinging to her girlfriend.</p><p>"Aren't you guys taking Warlock for the rest of the break?" He asked, throwing his two pairs of clothes in the back of the Bentley. Warlock waved out the back window, who seemed to be half-asleep as well. Davina nodded.</p><p>"In ya go." She gently pushed her girlfriend in the passenger's seat and kissed her on the forehead when she wouldn't let go. She looked back at Crowley. "Think about what I said, please?"</p><p>"See you, Davina." He got into his Bentley and hit the gas, going as far away from that house he could get. <em>Home</em>.</p><hr/><p>    Azira had just fed her bunnies when a knock at the door came. She realized who it would be and stifled a squeal in her cardigan. She ran downstairs and opened the door.</p><p>"Crowley!" She smiled brightly as Crowley's face reddened. Poor dear, did he get sick? "How are you? Was it fun at your family's?" He shrugged and walked in.</p><p>"Same old, same old, saw my sister, as you know." He went on talking about Davina, Michaela, and Warlock. Azira listened intently to his stories and giggled when he went on a rant about his sister and her girlfriend's PDA. Hours passed by, and suddenly, it was time for Crowley to leave.</p><p>"It was wonderful seeing you, angel, you're a fresh sight for my poor, sore eyes." He smiled at her as she blushed, eyes averting down.</p><p>"It was lovely, dearest." He seemed to stiffen but slowly walk to the door. He opened it and seemed to have some struggle. "Dear?"</p><p>"Damn door won't open!" He pulled at the door and fell over once it finally opened.</p><p>"Dear!" She ran over and crouched next to him. She put her hand on his face. "Are you okay?" She was hovering over him and he flustered and looked at the doorway.</p><p>"Snowed in."</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"It's snowed in." She looked up and noticed the snow. She stood up and walked over to it. It was up to her chest.</p><p>"Oh my..."</p><p>"It's even too tall for <em>me</em>, and you're tiny." She pouted and shook her head. She shoved the door closed and sighed.</p><p>"Perhaps you should stay the night? You could have my bed for the night." He shook his head.</p><p>"I'll stay over but I'm not gonna steal your bed..." He scratched the back of his head. "I'll sleep on the sofa." She sighed but nodded. No use fighting.</p><p>"Shall I get us some drinks?"</p><hr/><p>    After a few hours of drinking, neither of them were sloshed. They were a tiny bit tipsy, only because they weren't mainly drinking. They were more drunk off each other than anything else.</p><p>"And then-and then he..." Crowley, who had been cackling out his story, suddenly noticed Azira was practically on his lap. "Azira...?"</p><p>"Dear..." She looked up at him, with shining, pink, and plump lips and glossy eyes. Her face was flushed and she was leaning in more and more by the second.</p><p>Before he knew it, her lips were on top of his and he was drowning in it, drowning. His hands grabbed onto her waist as they began to snog. She whimpered and somehow <em>that</em> sobered him.</p><p>"Azira, I-" Suddenly, she looked like a deer in headlights. She stood up abruptly and yelped.</p><p>"I'm so, so, sorry, my dear. I got ahead of myself." She tucked her hair behind her ears.</p><p>"Angel-"</p><p>"Goodnight, Crowley." She took up the stairs and he called for her, in vain.</p><hr/><p>     Azira laid in her bed, tossing and turning. She tried so desperately to sleep but couldn't after such an <em>embarrassment</em>. When knocking came at her door, she considered not answering it. </p><p>"Angel, I know you're not asleep, you snore when you're asleep." The door finally opened. Azira stood in front of Crowley, face flushed and attempted to cover herself up in her <a href="https://www.marjolaine.fr/en/181-9501-Negligee-3GEM2002-Marjolaine.html">negligee</a>. </p><p>"I do not snore." Crowley snorted and breathed in.</p><p>"Angel," He stiffened. "I'm in love with you." Azira's mouth gaped before she remarked back.</p><p>"Just because we snogged? Dear, no-"</p><p>"No, angel, I-" He grabbed her hand and caressed it with his thumb. "There's a reason I stopped you that day outside that restaurant. It wasn't love-love then but...but you entranced me, angel. I couldn't get you out of my head, I waited up into the early morning hours waiting for your first text."</p><p>"I've been smitten with you since the very beginning and you are so, so easy to fall in love with- you're adorable and so intellectual, I can't even try to keep up with you, and so, so clever and wonderful- I fucking adore you." He continued.</p><p>"I can't stand to think you might think otherwise anymore. I don't know if you love me but...but I respect you. No matter what." Tears sprang from Azira's eyes and she hugged him.</p><p>"I love you, so, so much, dear. I love you more than Earth itself. You- You're so-" She was interrupted by a kiss that she moaned into.</p><p>They fell, they fell, and they fell until they finally fell upon the homely cushions of Azira's alcove bed. Their heavy breaths precipitated on one another's skin, their hands roamed canvases of adoration and temptation.</p><p>Crowley caressed the soft curves of his lover, a plump waist under a...well-endowed set of breasts, hips softly flared out- an ease to her curves, one could say.</p><p>Her silky robe fell to her sides and he continued on, sucking a hickey into her collarbone.  His firm, thin lips went back to attach themselves to her soft, plump ones. After a good 20 minutes or so of snogging, he lifted himself up- only to find himself enraptured by this vision of beauty before him.</p><p>What ancient societies believed to be the peak of beauty, what they must've so yearned for. She resembled sculptures of Aphrodite- a voluptuous, full body that bewitched mortals and Gods alike.</p><p>Meanwhile, Azira was similarly entranced by her beguiling lover, the fire in his hair was now a flame in his golden-amber eyes. She was weak to do much else besides moan softly.</p><p>The honey of them stuck to her and the sweetness dragged her back, his lithe body pressed so perfectly against hers, his large hands and firm chest grounded her as she pulled him back down to her.</p><p>"Good to know it's not just me who wants this." He giggled into her ear before licking the shell of it. She shuddered and grabbed onto his shoulders. "Shit, I don't have any condoms." He muttered.</p><p>"Don't worry, I do."</p><p>"Why in the world- how often do guys forget condoms?" She shook her head.</p><p>"No, no, I've never even had sex. Gabriel...just gave me these right before he left." She groaned the last part into her hands. "Said just in case <em>you</em> forget them- god, it was so embarrassing."</p><p>"Never? I know you're an introvert but...wow." He shook his head and laughed at her story.</p><p>"Shut up!" She laughed. "It was not fun at all." He sat up and came behind her. She rubbed her arse onto his erection, he groaned into her shoulder. "That's what you get!" She handed him a condom.</p><p>He ripped it open and quickly shoved off his pants and boxers, as well as his shirt, onto the floor. He placed her onto his lap and slid off her silky and lacy dress, onto the floor with his clothes. He kissed her again and admired her.</p><p>"Dear..." She muttered and he grabbed the hem of her panties, sliding them off. Suddenly he realized just how wet she was as he felt it on his thigh.</p><p>"Oh my..." He sucked onto her collarbone again and licked down to her breast, where his teeth grazed her nipple. She gasped at the sensation and threw her head back when she felt his <em>tongue</em>.</p><p>He licked and swirled it around as he pinched the other one, rubbing it as well. She pulled at his hair and he, accidentally, bucked his hips.</p><p>She gasped and seemed to be trying to push his head down. Instead, he began licking the other nipple as his other hand slid down to her cunt. His fingers slipped between the folds as he pressed and stroked her clit, causing her to buck her hips. She was panting and he decided to do something about it.</p><p>He lifted his head to kiss her gently as he pressed a finger in, she gasped and continued kissing him as one finger became two, then three. Finally, when she was fucking herself on his fingers, he felt sure that she was prepared enough.</p><p>He laid down and placed her on top of him, so they could both feel in control. He slowly poked his cock at her entrance and seethed it inside. She groaned and she sank down on it, crying out his name; it was all he could do not to begin thrusting at max power.</p><p>She settled on, panting and finally giving him the get-go to start going. He grabbed her hips and started to thrust, slowly.</p><p>"Crowley, please," She begged.</p><p>"Please, what?"</p><p>"Faster," She gasped out. He began to pick up his pace, and whenever she seemed on the verge of begging again, he would fasten again. Eventually, she did say,</p><p>"Too fast!" He nodded and slowed down, smiling at her appreciative hum. Suddenly, her back arched and she screamed.</p><p>"Azira?" He realized what spot he had found, but wanted to check that it wasn't too overwhelming before going ham. She nearly collapsed before screaming.</p><p>"Again!" And so, he went at it again and again until she tightened around him and gushed onto his cock. He felt himself reach his own climax and cum inside the condom, sitting up to bite her shoulder as they both rode out their pleasures.</p><p>"Well, that was..." He sighed, shifting out of her and rolling off his used condom, throwing it in the trash. "Oh, that's disgusting." She giggled weakly and fell on his chest.</p><p>"Hi, love." His heart almost burst at <em>love</em>.</p><p>"Heya, angel." He kissed her gently as she lulled into sleep. He wrapped his arms around her, protecting her from the world it seemed, as he, himself, wandered into his dreamland. Though, they weren't too different from his reality, not anymore. The angel in his arms was proof enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>nothing much for me to say other than im WEAK for "playboy meets soft person who makes them change their entire attitude"</p><p>davina is a trans lesbian. a transbian, if you will. the light of my life, if you will also.</p><p>this was inspired by 10000 hours by annathehank and the dark stranger by tuddles PLEASE GO READ THOSE</p><p>i hope you enjoyed this &lt;3<br/>dearest-asmodeous on tumblr</p></blockquote></div></div>
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